I used to write these blog posts; it was a great way to express my thoughts. As I wrote, I realized it would be an excellent opportunity to bring Thought Catalog back.
New Year Resolutions Are Out
With the New Year approaching, the whole conversation and content of ‘new me’ or ‘new year same old me,’ new year resolutions, or goals for the year start to appear on people's social media. I have stopped making New Year’s goals and lists of things I want to accomplish in the New Year since 2020. I want to find change and growth in the new year without the pressure of goals or a list of things to accomplish. Because if/when those things don’t happen, the overwhelming feeling of disappointment arises. So, instead, I have created vision boards for the New Year and my birthday. I like making collages, and I am also a visual person. Another thing I started to do was not wait for the new year but start working, planning, or putting things into effect beforehand. For instance, this past month, I decided I wanted to swim again, so I went out and bought swim gear and started to look at swimming pool options in my area.
As the New Year approaches, I suggest not overthinking your resolutions, starting with your goals, and creating a vision board!
The BS of romanticizing one's life
When it comes to social media trends, I take them with little thought because all they are is a trend, hyped up for a couple of weeks until the next thing gets people's attention. At first, I thought the romanticizing one's life trend was a great way to look at life in Minnesota or the boring, mundane weekdays differently. However, I did struggle to see and appreciate things, and I wondered how taking an hour in the evening to read a book romanticizes my life? The logical side of my mind just could not do the bullshit of romanticizing one’s life.
We know that social media isn’t real life and people do put effort into what they create or take pictures of to have that perfectly placed photograph, so I started to wonder when I saw the cup of tea being poured with flowers perfectly placed, telling you romanizer your life with a cup and some fall movies, or the bathtub placement of candles, reading board with a book telling you how to recharge yourself at night. The thing about it is that these videos or posts are set up. It's not them just doing this. They are putting effort into creating this because it takes a lot of time and effort to create your own photoshoot/content. And how does that show romanticizing when you are setting it up to seem romantic or special?
So I’m calling bullshit on these ‘well-being’ trends like romanticizing one's life or manifesting, because honestly, unless you are just doing it, NOT setting it up to be content for your feed, then it is bullshit. The definition of manifesting is “the act of using methods such as visualization and affirmation to help you imagine achieving something, in the belief that doing so will make it more likely to happen.” (Source: https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/manifesting) But to make something happen, you have to do it; it's not just going to appear or happen because you said it.
If you struggle to find joy in the little things, appreciate the present moment, or find pleasure in everyday life, start doing something about it. Don’t think you are going to have to go out and buy those candles or journals you see everyone on social media talking about or think you have to set up your phone as you go out and have a picnic in the park; go out and have a picnic in the park it doesn’t have to be perfect or ascetically pleasing you don't even have to photograph it, you can just start eating!
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Combined with the other two topics, I started to think about how I have felt stuck and like I haven’t changed in the sense of growing into myself. I feel like I have gone backward and back into old habits. Worse, I am grumpy instead of happy in the moments or where I am. And how do I change that?
Of course, I think about living in Ireland, and I always go back to that time because it was a time when I felt the happiest in where I was, who I was, my confidence, my health mentally (sometimes) and physical health (except the night outs of drinking). Ireland forced me to change, expand, and grow. Because staying in your bubble while living in a place you are not from would be silly not to explore and try new things. I would have never put on a tan before seeing my Irish friends do it on a night out, or get that dressed up, or even go out to a club, but also, their nights out were a lot different than nights out in the Twin Cities (I experience it twice and it's not the same).
So, how do you make that kind of change when nothing around you changes? I don’t have an answer. I am trying to become the best version of myself in the face of doubt, frustration, and unknowns. I’m trying not to let depression get the best of me. I’m trying to appreciate the moment and find joy in the evenings after a 9-5. I’m hoping the small changes I make in my daily life, or even just blasting music as I drive or do art projects in the evenings, will help me figure out the answer to that question. I will let you know.
