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Wednesday, March 27, 2024

I had a series for a while called Bad Dates, in which I talked about dating in my 20s. It was called Bad Dates for a laugh, but many dates were terrible. Now, I am in my 30s, and it feels a lot worse. Suddenly, I’m not swiping on guys who only want something casual or a one-night stand. I am swiping on guys who have kids, are recently divorced, or have just gotten out of a long relationship, so they are not looking for anything serious. 

I have never been a girl who will automatically enter a relationship with someone. The last guy I dated, after two months of seeing each other, thought I was getting too serious. Though he said he never does ghost girls, he ghosted me. I thought about it afterward, as one does: what did I do? But then I realized I did nothing. I never said to the guy I wanted a relationship and told him! I said I would have to be dating him for a year before I even say he’s my boyfriend or I’m his girlfriend OR for him to meet my family and for them even to know his real name. The only thing I could think of that confused him was that I wanted to see him, hang out with him, and talk to him because I liked him. But you know what, even though at the moment it was annoying, a little hurt in the stomach, and questioning yourself and what you did, asking yourself what is wrong with you, why can’t a boy like you? I’m glad it ended because  I probably would not have done anything I did after if it had never ended. 


Now, in my 30s, I may be ready for a relationship. It would be nice to have someone to spend evenings with, go on weekend adventures or day trips with, someone who can cook and wants to go out to eat sometimes and do things with. Even though I may be ready for a relationship, that one quote still makes sense to me. The one that says...


"Not Every girl wants to be in relationship. Some just want good company, a guy to vibe with, converse with and laugh with. Not in a rush. Start off simple, and let the rest find itself. Having someone to talk to and feeling confortable around them is quite beautiful, and it's a good feeling."


Despite eating the grapes under the table at midnight and trying hard not to delete Hinge -and not for the reasons it wants to be deleted- my 30s are best spent dating myself. Doing things for myself and enjoying them. I have found it a lot easier to do things on my own when traveling solo because I refused to go on a trip and not experience it—but doing solo things at home is a little bit harder. Wouldn’t say I’m embarrassed or uneasy about sitting at the table eating dinner alone; maybe my anxiety is a little bit on when I think about it, but I know I can sit at the bar or bring a book.   Normal factors play a role, like driving there, parking, how busy the place is if it’s new, and all the new place anxiety. 


I have never been one to let your anxiety limit me. It just takes a while. That is why I am making a list of things and places I would like to do, see, and drink. And with the weather getting into spring, it’s time to come out of hibernation and winter blues. I’m doing this to live my 30 flirty and thriving life; I can be that woman who sits on the patio with her food and drink, reading a book, and going on that weekend trip somewhere, and not one I can drive to. 


The List...

Explore MIA
Explore History museum
Check out the Swedish museum
Go to the science museum
A weekend away once a month this summer-goal somewhere not in Minnesota
Read at a bar
Go on hikes never done before with Finni
Take more pictures
Take a photo walk around Rice Park and Loring Park
Go to a cocktail bar
Go out to eat once a month (take-out counts)
Take a community class (not cooking)
Take a Loft Class (if you find one that is interesting)
WRITE AUTUMN!
Go see more movies in the theater
Have a picnic in the park
Read/write in the park



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Friday, March 15, 2024

 

If you are not a friend from Facebook or an original reader/follower of A City Girl Story blog, you might not know one of many jokes I reference: 'I will get a dog before I get a man.' It's been a year, and I finally got a dog!  I couldn't imagine not having Finni (like Finland) in my life! 

She is a one-year-old shepherd/collie mutt with folding ears and a not-so-wiggly but happy tail.  She loves kisses, the mud/water, and squirrels.  She is not the best walker, so we go to a lot of dog parks.  She is happy to be outside or looking for bunnies or squirrels! 

After a year of dog ownership, I understand the world of dog owners and how to adapt, but I haven't quite figured out how to travel, enjoy the area, and bring my dog. 

Since getting Finni, we have taken a few overnight trips, including to Upper Michigan (another state off my list), and I realized there are only a few dog-friendly places.  I was convinced that every brewery allowed dogs, nope.  I understand there are no dog-friendly places. I would like to have some options for dog-friendly places.  And I know- leave the dog.  But you know what?  I was always going to be that dog owner who would bring her dog when she could.  It's one of the reasons I got her. 

So, I am on the hunt for dog-friendly places.  I'm not just talking breweries or places to eat (honestly, I wouldn't bring my dog into a restaurant).  I'm talking coffee shops and ice cream places to allow her inside so I don't have to tie her up outside because I would not do that, and thus, I wouldn't be going into the ice cream place.  Also, hotels and airbnbs-it would have been really nice if we found an Airbnb in Upper Michigan that allowed dogs so we could have meals inside instead of eating in the car or on the hotel bed.  

 We will find a few dog-friendly places or adapt to the limitations of having a dog with you when you're on a road trip or day trip, and hopefully, we will share them when we find them!





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Sunday, February 25, 2024

 


When you think of the top Minnesota sport, you may think of curling, but it is Hockey. Might Ducks was filmed (the first movie) and placed here for a reason: because we are the Hockey State! So, when Professional Women's Hockey was in the works, it was only natural that Minnesota had a team (PWHL). 

There are six teams, 3 in Canada and 3 in the United States. The league started this year (2024), and it's been inspiring to watch so many young girls (& boys) watch the game, and even adults support the teams. The teams have no names, but the Minnesota PWHL hockey jersey has been sold out for months. 

Being from Minnesota, you would think Hockey would be running through my blood, but it is just another thing on the list: 'I'm Minnesotan but..." including not bleeding purple and gold, no cabin, and not liking fishing. I have never played Hockey. Growing up, we would attend a few University of Minnesota hockey games, but that stopped once in high school. I do not watch or follow the Minnesota Wild; I have never been to a game. However, I have been and will be going to 4 of the Minnesota Women's hockey games. I am officially a hockey fan! 

Having a women's professional hockey team in Minnesota is so important. And if I have to explain the importance and impactfulness of PWHL, you will never understand it. Why am I writing this blog if I am NOT going to explain the importance of a professional women's hockey team? A league that had broken attendance records in its first few games of the season and whose jerseys sold out for months? And currently, Minnesota PWHL is ranked number 2 with 5 wins and 3 losses. Because that's it, and the why is apparent when you see littles holding signs up at the game with 'Future PWHL Star.' 

It has been a joy to attend and see so many people support PWHL  and see so many young girls in their own jerseys cheering them on. If you haven't gotten into Hockey or have not been keeping up with PWHL, I suggest you start! Because these games are fun, the players go for it, and the crowds do not disappoint. 

What should the MN team name be? Spitballed a few mascot ideas like Moose, Beaver, Bobcat, and Otter. 





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Saturday, February 10, 2024


Alaska was a once-in-a-lifetime trip I am glad I took with my family. I have traveled alone a lot, and it was nice to go with the fam. We spent a week on a cruise ship, hitting top thriving tourist towns; we then spent another week traveling by train, heading through Anchorage and Fairbanks, stopping in Denali National Park. The weather was on our side, and we could see the top of Denali. 
I heard many people say if you are going to go to Alaska, go by cruise ship, and I highly recommend it. Alaska is wild, and being the city girl I am, I would not survive traveling alone. There are only four significant roads across Alaska. When we were in one of the port towns, they told us how kids there get put on an island to learn serving skills because there will be a time when they will need them. For example, if a car breaks down at night, they will be stuck there until morning. Hearing that, I knew taking an all-inclusive cruise was the best way to see Alaska. 


The wildness of Alaska is what makes Alaska one of the best places I've been stateside. It has so many breathtaking views, and it's like living in a cold paradise. Expect it wasn't that cold. You don't feel overwhelmed even with 4 huge cruise ships of people walking around the town. You are too busy looking at everything around you. You can't believe these places exist. It is so easy to live miles away in a different time zone to forget that otters floating in the ocean, glaciers, and waterfalls falling down the side of a mountain into the sea are a daily thing that happens here. When we were in Glacier Bay National Park, a ranger came onto our boat to discuss the park. It was an important one to listen to. She brought up how what we do miles away from here affects us, asking us what we will do and who we will be when we return to our community and asking us if we want future generations to experience the things we got to experience on this trip. It's precisely what I've been saying for years: if you want to travel the world, you must start caring for it. Before this trip, I learned that Holland American is one of the only cruise ships allowed in the park. The park limits boats coming in due to its natural habitat and importance to Alaska Native culture and history. 

If you want to see Alaska, skip Anchorage and Fairbanks and only consider those places as starting or ending points that you do not even need a whole day to visit. Unfortunately, those cities are dead, with little to see or do. Spending an entire day in Fairbanks waiting for our 10 pm flight made the trip back feel extra long. 
 


Because Alaska was such a big trip, my schedule and time were limited to more local road trips last year. But this year, I am returning to my roots of traveling alone and to the place I call my home away from home. 


I'm soooo excited to return to see littles, friends, and old stomping grounds. But I also learned returning to a place you don't live anymore is hard and can be an uneasy experience. Life has moved on, and things may look the same, but something is different, and you're different, too. The key is to not expect and just go with the flow. I hope that the people at the local pub still remember my name and have Koberberg. It has been 6 years since my last time there (thanks, pando), so my hope isn't that high. I will take this trip one day at a time; I made a list of places to go and told people I am coming and will see them, but I will take it daily. Honestly, I'm good if I'm just hanging with little ones, walking the beach, or sitting in the local pub! It might turn into the trip I need.


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